Written by Pat Welsh of PulseLine.
As a young police recruit, I was taught the mantra – Ask. Tell. Make. First I will ask you to do something. If you fail or refuse to do so, I will tell you to do it and do it now. If that doesn’t work, I will go hands on and make you do it. Which, I admit, worked effectively most of the time.
I also learned it didn’t work well when dealing with someone with intellectual or developmental disabilities. And, as we see on the news, this approach often leads to the escalation of force and many times ends in tragedy for all involved. I never quite understood why people just wouldn’t comply with simple requests, orders or commands – other than they were just being the south end of a north bound horse.
It wasn’t until I took extensive training in learning about the very broad spectrum of intellectual and developmental disabilities that I started to learn the answers to my question, “Why?” What follows are some insights on the world of disabilities and how we, as first responders - Warriors, Servants, Leaders – can more effectively and successfully interact with folks with disabilities.
Many disabilities are hidden or unseen to the average or typical individual. In the arena of the unseen disabilities, we often encounter folks, kids and adults, who are neurodiverse – simply, their brains are literally wired differently than the typical person, either due to developmental reasons or injury to the brain.
The subject who keeps interrupting us, seems overtly rude, who keeps repeating what we say back to us, who stares blankly at us as if they didn’t hear us – may be they are being jerks, or really they are neuro diverse.
So what should we do? Unless it involves immediate and physical harm to us or others, simply slow things down, give them some space and start asking questions instead of telling and making them comply with commands. Instead of “show me your hands or else…”, we ask if they are ok. Do you need help? Do you have a disability I should know about?
It is ok to tell them, “grab your elbows with your hands”. Say what!? Really, “grab your elbows with your hands” is an instruction they can process and follow because they are used to hearing that from their caretakers when they are struggling to remain calm. Many folks with neurodiversity can’t process broad commands, like “drop it”. But they can process commands like, “put the hammer on the table.”
Many folks with disabilities have extremely different tolerances for pain. A dear friend of mine has a son with autism, a highly functional young man and one with a great sense of humor. One of his genuine senses of pain is to be touched when he is experiencing a meltdown – you grab him and he his skin literally feels like it is being burned by molten hot clamps.
Before being diagnosed in middle school, he would go completely ballistic getting a haircut. His parents thought he was being over dramatic and just throwing a temper tantrum. In reality, the slightest pulling of his hair by the barber sent stabbing pain into his scalp.
We encounter many folks in our careers who have disabilities. And some of these folks are genuinely baiting you to go hands on so they can sue you and your agency. But most just don’t have the ability to process your questions or commands in a way that can enable them to comply. So be patient, slow things down, get the resources to effectively communicate with them and to successfully complete your job.
Don’t you be the south end of a northbound horse. Be that Warrior, Servant, Leader who has and shows empathy, compassion and a whole lot of common sense. If you have a loved with disabilities, be that cop you would want your loved to encounter.
I share these insights for the purpose of encouraging you, your agencies and communities to do the right thing, at the right time, the right way and for the right reasons when it comes to learning about and training our first responders in interacting with folks with disabilities – as suspects, witnesses or just in our every day contacts.
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About the author: Pat Welsh, a Best Selling Author, Speaker and Trainer, is a retired Major of the Dayton Police Department. A graduate of the FBINA and Police Executive Leadership College, Mr. Welsh is also a member of IACP. Mr. Welsh specializes in law enforcement training, strategic work session, keynote speaking and leadership development for civilian and military LE personnel. Please contact Mr. Welsh at pjwelshllc@gmail.com to learn more.
As a young police recruit, I was taught the mantra – Ask. Tell. Make. First I will ask you to do something. If you fail or refuse to do so, I will tell you to do it and do it now. If that doesn’t work, I will go hands on and make you do it. Which, I admit, worked effectively most of the time.
I also learned it didn’t work well when dealing with someone with intellectual or developmental disabilities. And, as we see on the news, this approach often leads to the escalation of force and many times ends in tragedy for all involved. I never quite understood why people just wouldn’t comply with simple requests, orders or commands – other than they were just being the south end of a north bound horse.
It wasn’t until I took extensive training in learning about the very broad spectrum of intellectual and developmental disabilities that I started to learn the answers to my question, “Why?” What follows are some insights on the world of disabilities and how we, as first responders - Warriors, Servants, Leaders – can more effectively and successfully interact with folks with disabilities.
Many disabilities are hidden or unseen to the average or typical individual. In the arena of the unseen disabilities, we often encounter folks, kids and adults, who are neurodiverse – simply, their brains are literally wired differently than the typical person, either due to developmental reasons or injury to the brain.
The subject who keeps interrupting us, seems overtly rude, who keeps repeating what we say back to us, who stares blankly at us as if they didn’t hear us – may be they are being jerks, or really they are neuro diverse.
So what should we do? Unless it involves immediate and physical harm to us or others, simply slow things down, give them some space and start asking questions instead of telling and making them comply with commands. Instead of “show me your hands or else…”, we ask if they are ok. Do you need help? Do you have a disability I should know about?
It is ok to tell them, “grab your elbows with your hands”. Say what!? Really, “grab your elbows with your hands” is an instruction they can process and follow because they are used to hearing that from their caretakers when they are struggling to remain calm. Many folks with neurodiversity can’t process broad commands, like “drop it”. But they can process commands like, “put the hammer on the table.”
Many folks with disabilities have extremely different tolerances for pain. A dear friend of mine has a son with autism, a highly functional young man and one with a great sense of humor. One of his genuine senses of pain is to be touched when he is experiencing a meltdown – you grab him and he his skin literally feels like it is being burned by molten hot clamps.
Before being diagnosed in middle school, he would go completely ballistic getting a haircut. His parents thought he was being over dramatic and just throwing a temper tantrum. In reality, the slightest pulling of his hair by the barber sent stabbing pain into his scalp.
We encounter many folks in our careers who have disabilities. And some of these folks are genuinely baiting you to go hands on so they can sue you and your agency. But most just don’t have the ability to process your questions or commands in a way that can enable them to comply. So be patient, slow things down, get the resources to effectively communicate with them and to successfully complete your job.
Don’t you be the south end of a northbound horse. Be that Warrior, Servant, Leader who has and shows empathy, compassion and a whole lot of common sense. If you have a loved with disabilities, be that cop you would want your loved to encounter.
I share these insights for the purpose of encouraging you, your agencies and communities to do the right thing, at the right time, the right way and for the right reasons when it comes to learning about and training our first responders in interacting with folks with disabilities – as suspects, witnesses or just in our every day contacts.
--
About the author: Pat Welsh, a Best Selling Author, Speaker and Trainer, is a retired Major of the Dayton Police Department. A graduate of the FBINA and Police Executive Leadership College, Mr. Welsh is also a member of IACP. Mr. Welsh specializes in law enforcement training, strategic work session, keynote speaking and leadership development for civilian and military LE personnel. Please contact Mr. Welsh at pjwelshllc@gmail.com to learn more.
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The opinions reflected in this article are not necessarily the opinions of LET
Comments
2024-04-29T14:06-0700 | Comment by: James
Excellent and much needed article! Great points. Will be reposting.