I remember when I first met my husband. I was taken by the strength in his eyes, his smile, and his demeanor – it was captivating to me. Once we started a conversation, I found him to be so interesting that I couldn’t wait to hear what would come out of his mouth next. He was different from any other man I had known.
While everything was going so smoothly for us, I then asked the magical question, “What do you do for a living?” He responded, “I just graduated from the police academy.” I let out a big, “oh”. Not that I was against police officers at the time, but I heard too many stories about law enforcement and relationships that made me a little hesitant.
We hit it off immediately! Although we were two very different people, we somehow just fit. Soon I was saying “I do” to him. After being a newlywed and getting deeper into our marriage, I came to realize that my husband, my honey, actually had flaws. As in any marriage, disagreements will come, misunderstandings, lack of communication, and much more. I noticed as he got deeper into his career in law enforcement, he changed in many ways. At times, it was not always good.
The thoughts of all I heard about divorce rates with law enforcement and relationships all came to mind. It was a battle I was going to fight to win. Despite all I heard about this I had to remember I married him, not his profession.
At times I wonder how these warriors in blue can separate who they are from what they do, when all they do, makes them who they are .What do I mean? We all know that LEO protects and serves but is ultimately keeping order. He or she gives commands in any chaotic situation. Our angels in blue get yelled at, tolerate adult tantrums, see the worst of the worst. Then they are expected to come home and play father, mother, husband, or wife. Where is the line? How do they unwind from a day full of chaos without bringing in what they are used to doing majority of the day?
A LEOs wife said it best, “When my husband walks through the door I tell him to leave the officer outside and for him to come in.”
Too many times we forget that these men and women who are in law enforcement are not defined by this, but identified by it. Life experiences create in all of us who we are and what we become. It’s a matter of loving them for all the reasons we married them and not forgetting that. If we forget about all those reasons, we may find ourselves asking who exactly we are married to. Years go by. Situations and life experiences bring about changes.
I saw a great quote that said, “True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” So I ask myself, “Who is this man who is coming through the door at the end of a shift? He is my husband! He is the man I love who happens to be a LEO. He may not be perfect but neither am I. He is the man I choose to love through good and bad. He is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. After all, I married him and with him came the badge. Therefore, I will honor the badge he wears and love the man I married.
Allison P. Uribe is an auxiliary chaplain with the San Antonio Police Department. Allison’s husband is a San Antonio police officer. She is also a chaplain with Serve and Protect, serving the spiritual and emotional needs of law enforcement, fire/ rescue, and corrections; www.serveprotect.org or 625-373-8000. Allison is the founder of Wives on Duty Ministries designed to support and encourage wives of law enforcement and other emergency services through the word of God. Allison will launch Kids on Duty – To Play and Pray in Summer 2013. For more information visit www.wivesonduty.com or email Allison at [email protected] She is also the lead community chaplain and student with Global University Berean School of the Bible and speaks at many Law Enforcement events. Allison wrote “Because I’m Suitable-The Journey of A Wife on Duty”, geared toward wives of law enforcement; http://www.amazon.com/Because-Im-Suitable-Journey-Wife/dp/1449740839