Our marriages and homes are unique, filled with individual routines and expectations.  Each household will always differ from the next. Many times in a police marriage or relationship, we find ourselves noticing other marriages, other relationships, or even the impossible love stories aired on television.

We are all made uniquely different.  While there may be others who share the same interests, there is no one else exactly like us in the whole universe. While our marriage may be different from other marriages or may even share some similarities. The unique difference is the fundamental thing that makes our marriage all the more special.

I was reading the magazine “Better Homes and Gardens” and noticed on the side it said, “Where life happens.” It drew my attention to the fact that, yes, life happens in our homes and especially in our marriages. Our marriages, like the rest, will have its ups and downs and its seasonal issues.  However, there will also be seasons of joy and reassurance that our marriage is as great for us as it will ever be. As in the magazine, there will always be room for improvement and many times we may find ourselves looking out for something better.

I considered “Better Homes” and thought about how much we have all done our best to make our homes and marriages look pristine when in fact there was disorganization and chaos. I am sure many of us have had company come over and we clean spotlessly so others don’t see our mess. The truth is that the majority of our homes and our marriages have clutter, dust, scratches, and dirt. The sad part is, we put it away so no one can see it. We hide it or even mask it making our lives look immaculate. This creates numbness to the fact that we can brush things away in our lives and in our homes, ignoring the opportunity to grow within ourselves.

How often do we visit our local home improvement store to find the latest look for our home and seek out how we can improve our homes appearance? The question is, why can’t we do a seasonal makeover in our own marriages which in fact is what builds our homes today.

In any marriage there is always room for improvement. It’s not about changing the other person but about always changing ourselves. It’s about us doing an internal inventory to find the cluttered areas, the empty space that needs to be filled, and the dullness that needs to be revived.

While others may have a picture perfect home or marriage, we must always remember that life takes work. Perfection is something all will strive for, but in reality it does not exist. No one is perfect and no home is perfect. Of course it doesn’t give us the excuse to settle or remain as we are but to strive for the better for our marriage and our home. This could mean many different things to each marriage, household, and each person.

While we take notice of others and how things may look on the outside, it is up to us to create our better home. It is our home that majority of our precious life together happens. With all the unexpected things in this life and in our marriages, we must come to find ourselves and be on the lookout to improve ourselves so we can create not only a better self, but a better household.

Seize the moments that exist now in your home no matter how many times have come and gone. No matter what happens in your home, fill it with joy, laughter, peace, moments of spontaneity, and make it a place that when others see it, they see the greener side. But at the same time, we must always remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side, its greener only in the eyes of the beholder.

Allison P. Uribe is an auxiliary chaplain with the San Antonio Police Department. Allison’s husband is a San Antonio police officer. She is also a chaplain with Serve and Protect, serving the spiritual and emotional needs of law enforcement, fire/ rescue, and corrections; www.serveprotect.org or 625-373-8000. Allison is the founder of Wives on Duty Ministries designed to support and encourage wives of law enforcement and other emergency services through the word of God. Allison will launch Kids on Duty – To Play and Pray in Summer 2013. For more information visit www.wivesonduty.com or email Allison at [email protected] She is also the lead community chaplain and student with Global University Berean School of the Bible and speaks at many Law Enforcement events. Allison wrote “Because I’m Suitable-The Journey of A Wife on Duty”, geared toward wives of law enforcement; http://www.amazon.com/Because-Im-Suitable-Journey-Wife/dp/1449740839