Another day, another brand that just sold itself out to the pussification of America.
In case you missed it, Gillette has launched a new digital ad campaign aimed at men letting us know that we are all doers of evil.
It’s called “We Believe” and it starts out with news about the current #MeToo movement, bullying and “toxic masculinity”. From there, a narrator talks about the fact that “boys will be boys” and then asks: “Is this the best a man can get? Is it? We can’t hide from it. It has been going on far too long. We can’t laugh it off, making the same old excuses.”
Shocker. A company that’s failing to sell enough razors is making a desperate move in hopes that women will start buying their brand for their men.
Well, Gillette, I’m here to tell you what a real man is.
I first grew my beard when I was in the Sandbox. I can’t tell you who I was with over there, because technically the government still owns that part of my life.
I was the guy that assholes feared. You know why they feared me? Because I hunted down bad guys. And I killed them. My beard has been covered with the blood of terrorists more times than I can count.
My beard has also been covered with the blood of my brothers. The day the IED when off and I was one of only a handful of guys that made it out with all of our limbs.
The day a sniper took out the man who stood next to me on the best day of my life, my wedding day… and then stood in front of me when he took a bullet so I could one day go back to my bride.
That beard was tugged on by the tiny hands of our babies. The pain was real and it was a desperately needed moment to pull me out of the warzone back into the moments with my family. I can still feel the tugs reminding me that I was alive and there was a reason for that.
I thought I’d have to shave my beard to go into law enforcement back home. I didn’t. Apparently my track record of destroying evil was enough, and apparently it made me fit right in with more evil. That beard was what helped me to assimilate quickly deep undercover. It kept me alive. It helped really bad guys get not alive. And that helped keep good people alive.
My beard has been filled with the tears of women weeping over dead husbands and dead children. My beard has been played with when I filled in for Santa when he was busy at the North Pole.
You look at a beard as being a symbol of toxic masculinity like I look at callous-free hands on a man as being a symbol of weakness.
You view my beard as being something that demonstrates that men don’t respect women. I adorn it as a sign that men are meant to protect, respect and provide for women.
You view the term “boys will be boys” as disgust as you encourage boys to be girls and girls to be boys. I view the term “boys will be boys” as recognition that there’s a biological difference between men and women and boys are energetic little creatures that need an outlet for the testosterone that’s starting to grow in their body.
Remember, Gillette. Spartans had beards because they were fearless warriors. They were protectors. They were defenders. They were filled with character and integrity and honor. They owned their manliness and weren’t afraid of it.
Congratulations on your big PR move. But remember, while you’re sitting around a white board trying to figure out how to sell more razors … these bearded bastards are doing bad things to bad people because SOMEONE has to hold the line between good and evil…. and it’ll never be you.
We’ve got your six, even though you don’t have ours.