Do teachers gaze upon children every day in the classroom with desire?

Teachers desiring teens. It’s icky, right? The thought of this type of behavior sends parents right into orbit.  But what we do know is that some instructors find children attractive and prey upon them, even going so far as having sexual relations.

It must be a new normal. It’s all over the news. But is it really a horrifying trend? Actually, teachers are just as mortified with these cases as the rest of the world. It’s like that blanket reputation thing people do to a profession.

Many of the suspects are beautiful and young. Is it only beauty?  I suppose it would deter some of these crimes if the schools put only old, ugly, and fat teachers in the education system.

Many of the young teachers are updated, passionate, and instruct with the highest ethics.

What is influencing an increase in these crimes? Are reporting such incidents more acceptable? I mean, let’s think about that. Has it always been so frequent and was it just hidden from the public because it was taboo to report years ago? Or is it happening more and more because of a different generation of teachers and/or underdeveloped emotional levels?

I think we can all agree it is one of the most wicked and damaging things a child could endure.

Police have to dig into what’s going on in the mind of an offender. It is a scary and terrible place to go. But, it is  our job.

When I was a detective, my specialty was investigating crimes against children. I saw these types of cases every day. This perspective stems from that knowledge and experience.

First, you have to understand the opportunity for the offender. Teens are probably the most susceptible to this type of violation because of puberty, psychological reasons, and accessibility. They also spend a lot of time at school where a natural rapport is going to build between school officials and themselves.

The teachers are trusted individuals. They are entrusted with our children. Students also trust them, somewhat automatically, because they are teachers. School is supposed to be safe.

However, society is on their side. It is never their entire fault according to popular opinion. One benefit going for sex offenders is society still believes a teen victim is party to the problem and are responsible for their participation.

Some people downright do not believe the victims. Kids are mean and vindictive, or so some suppose. Maybe they have been watching too many of those mean girls shows on television. Perhaps the boys bullied their teachers into this situation. Those are ridiculous notions, yet, those beliefs are out there.

Many of these teachers seem successful, well-liked, and get along with the students. They might even be excellent educators. Parents and students may even consider them one of the best.

We would like to think it never happens. Denial is much easier than the reality.

How do these teachers get to crossing over the line into a distorted reality?

From a law enforcement perspective, I would say it is a brain thing and not a sexual drive thing. The motives are internally driven. Just like a rapist. They may also lack emotional development.

Do they feel like teenagers themselves? Is giggling too much a clue? Maybe we should not go so far as labeling too much giggling as probable cause.

Somehow this child becomes older to them or “much more mature than their age” and they idealize something about them. Teens are perceived as progressive, idealists, imaginative, and a separate and innocent component of the outside world in which the teacher does not fit.

Maybe the real world is jaded in the eyes of the teacher or the world has somehow even scorned them. Or perhaps they force themselves into a societal fit because that is what they are expected to do. They have the spouse, kids, and perfect home- but really don’t feel like they belong there.

There could also be a disconnection or marital dysfunction in the suspect’s home life or loneliness overpowering other factors of life. A victim’s personal life could also mirror these instances. They could also be living in a disruptive environment or experiencing troubles with a broken home. This is not always true, but sometimes when these elements are present, they add to the emotional connection of understanding the other’s circumstances.

The stages to the sexual violations are slow and time intensive. There is a lot of effort put into the trust. Flirting and inappropriate behavior develops into a perceived romantic relationship. The sexual act enhances the meaning of the attachment and becomes a natural progression of intimacy in both their minds.

So why do teachers want to have sex with kids?

Maybe they had psychological problems to begin with. Emotional development can be a huge part of the circumstances.

They connect better with kids and see themselves at a similar intellectual level. The students share emotions, thoughts, and strive to high academic levels which often impress instructors. We see that as a normal response to teaching but teachers who prey see it at a deeper level and more personalized.  Extra praise and over the top attention might be a warning signal where a student has drawn the affections of their teacher. This could be held secret for quite some time before a teacher decides to cross the line.

There are some perpetrators who groom children so this is their secret and it becomes a thrill or a “game.” This secret creates a special bond in which the child and teacher feel they are in love. They sneak around because they are both aware of the consequences but do not want to jeopardize their romance. Part of that is thrilling and makes the scope of the relationship more euphoric.

They plan a future. This is a very distorted reality.

Is it different when it is male teacher? Yes, I think so. They still have some of the same mindset, but are generally more authoritarian. Male instructors engage in a more aggressive perpetration, whereas the females are generally more passive. The grooming consists of extra attention, flirting, perhaps texts, letters, private chats, and meetings. After the rapport is solid, there are no sexual boundaries.

Did you shudder? It is hard to talk about.

Internal and external conflicts, social judgement, and aftermath plague the victims.

Whichever the gender of the offender, both lure kids and test the waters to make sure they select the right victim. They may not even see themselves as a sex offender, but they perceive truly trying to adjoin with a teen they relate with and feel is on their same level of understanding and intelligence. With most of these types of perpetration, the teachers feel a connection to their victims and believe they are in love. It is considered a mutual emotion between the suspect and victim.

Any disclosure of a teacher-student sexual act creates discord throughout a community. There are cases which divide members. Gossip and judgements become unbearable for those close to the suspect and victim.

There is also a double standard where public viewpoints of male teacher offenders are considered “disgusting pigs“and “perverted” whereas, female educators who offended children received jests of being “hot” and “wild”. The public sometimes believes women are less likely to act out of violence in these situations until the act is exposed and the good reputation is disposed.

Many of the victims are angry at the exposure and collapse of the relationship when they are publicly discovered. The physical acts were all a violation to them, but they saw it as a relationship of mutual love and respect.

In the beginning, the physical aspect is a conflict because the victim understands it is wrong, but it feels right in a physiological sense. Later, it may become justified in their mind as well and aligned with their bodily responses. This psychological turmoil is most difficult for the victims to cope with even after the offender has been separated from them.

Sadly, these cases cause enormous amounts of mental anguish for victims and emotional scars. I have talked with several victims who even over the years, did not view themselves as a victim at all. Coping with the aftermath and publicity was sometimes expressed to me to be harder than the acts with the teachers themselves. It changed their lives forever and caused great distress.

Nonetheless, this is sexual assault. It is abuse. The children are victims. The teacher perpetrators are sex offenders.

(Photo source Pixabay … Image is unrelated to sexual assault cases.)