It was March of 2000, when I crossed the stage on graduation day after successfully completing six months of paramilitary training with the Connecticut State Police. I had become the first Hispanic Female State Trooper to be sworn in and receive a badge. At that proud moment I could have never imagined that, years later, I would be curled up in my bed, not wanting to face the world.
Sheer mental and physical exhaustion is what I was experiencing, and my mind and body were telling me that they had had enough.
Workplace and patrol stress brought on an accumulation of so many inward scars. They became toxic to my entire system, and I no longer had the strength to get out of bed.
As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, a stream of chatter entered my mind which stated, “Well, you can do one of two things, Debbie. You can look at what you’re experiencing through the eyes of feeling victimized by life, or you can use your investigative skills to study yourself inwardly and open yourself up to spaces within that you have never discovered or experienced before.”
Well, option #2 sounded much more interesting to me, and option #1 was not working. I had already been processing and perceiving as though I was victimized by life and look where it has taken me. I was exhausted.
As tears streamed down my face, because life at that moment felt so overwhelming and confusing, I took a quantum leap to dive into something I had never known before and I chose option #2.
The Investigation of SELF, a process I took myself through, which freed me completely from stress on all levels and took me on a path of self-discovery that showed me life can be lived free from fears, pain, conflict, separation and internal wars. Ultimate FREEDOM!
After taking myself down the journey of self-investigation my personal and work relationships began to harmonize, and I was communicating with people from a very different perceptual view point and at a different level of open communication. I noticed as I became more in tune with myself, others around me responded much differently.
My career became much more interesting. I was now getting offers for different positions, within the agency: as an academy staff instructor and agency recruiter.
The workplace drama was no longer pulling me in and this felt like weights had been lifted off my shoulders.
The level of impact this had on my personal life, I could write forever. l will save all that writing for the book I am developing, “The Investigation of SELF.”
My journey was amazing and still is. Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words to describe the magnitude of it, and at times I find it best to use no words and simply hold the sacred grounds of it all. Through that the unspoken comes through and I would never attempt to squeeze that into a tiny little word.
Debbie’s a speaker, coach, author and founder of The Investigation of Self LLC. A company dedicated to assisting officers, firefighters and nurses shift from crisis management to growth management resulting in less stress and ultimate inward
Visit Debbie at www.theinvestigationofself.com
Email [email protected]
Over the years, Debbie has earned the following certifications & awards:
• April 2000 – State Of Connecticut General Assembly official citation
congratulations in recognition of becoming Connecticut’s first Hispanic female
• Nov 2006 – Certification of Recognition-signed by Connecticut Governor Judi
Rell for Outstanding Service award.
• April 2006 – Medal for Life Saving- awarded by The Connecticut State Police
Department Of Public Safety.
• Certified Life Purpose Coaching (CLPC)
• Certified Institute For Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
• Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner (ELI-MP)
• Traumatology Institute-Brief Compassion Fatigue Resiliency Program
• Leadership & Crisis management courses with the Connecticut State Police.