Standing Courageous: As Officers, as Spouses – Part 1
My topic was Standing Courageous: As Officers, as Spouses, and I would like to share it with you here on cyber paper over the next few blogs, though it might not have quite the same effect as it did in person.
There’s an old saying that goes something like, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” I’m not sure who said it, but it still rings true today.
What does it mean to stand? We often take our everyday words at less than face value, so I looked up the meaning in the dictionary. According to Webster’s, stand means: “to be, become, or remain upright, rigid or still; to have or take a position; to endure, bear, tolerate; withstand, to undergo.”
As officers and spouses – men and women, we stand for certain things:
- We stand for our marriage
- We stand for what is right in our departments, our communities, our churches, and our nation
- We stand in the gap when our partner’s away as parent, caretaker, administrator
- We stand in our homes as examples to our children/grandchildren
- We are to stand in awe of God
To stand is a choice. To stand is a calling.
- We stand for our marriage – Statistics show that between 60 and 75% of police officer’s marriages end in divorce. With the national average of 50%, we start out with the odds against us.
So, why is this? First of all, officers are exposed to constant junk. Dealing all day with other people’s problems, emergencies, and traumatic situations, leave little room for honest and open communication with his or her spouse. After a long day or night shift, the officer emotionally shuts down and has little to say. Also, quality time is limited due to the nature of the job and the crazy shift changes, call-ins, etc.
On the flip side, the spouse – more-often-than-not the wife – is either a stay-at-home mom with full-time kid duty, or works outside the home balancing her day job and her home job. She is emotionally, physically, and spiritually spent. On top of all the stress of her double duties, she now has to carve out time to spend with her husband who works crazy hours and has emotionally shut down.
With these two individuals spinning in different directions, a marriage is stretched to its limits – both rubbing each other the wrong way causing friction and unrest.
To top it all off, many marriages have not invited the most important person to their party of wedded bliss…God. Without our heavenly Father to glue it all in place, the pieces of our marital puzzle begin to unravel rather quickly.
Where two people could be harmoniously turning together in the same direction, instead there are two individuals spinning wildly out of control, grinding each other’s gears.
Isaiah 7:9 says, “If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.”
We have a choice…to be passive or proactive. It comes down to asking a few simple questions: How important is this marriage to me? Am I willing to sacrifice and fight for something that means so much or will I continue to spin out of control?
Are you willing to live out the call that God has placed in your home? Will you stand for your marriage? My prayer is that we all give a resounding, YES!