NEW YORK, NY– Everyone is talking about how unprecedented these times are. We haven’t lived through this type of a response to a pandemic, so really we aren’t sure what to expect.
I’ll tell you one thing that I damn sure would never expect though, and that’s for a politician to explain to me how I should or shouldn’t be having sex.
You really can’t make this stuff up, folks. And I’m not!
New York’s disgrace of a mayor, Bill de Blasio, seriously issued a memo from his office to his residents on how to have sex during the stay-at-home orders being issued all around the country.
My favorite part:
“You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.”
NYC health department approves of kissing the homies good night pic.twitter.com/bBt12RROhb
— brain mentality (@marx_knopfler) March 21, 2020
Also, in case you’ve been wondering:
“COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid.”
So there’s that.
I mean, thanks, I guess?
This isn’t exactly the type of information I want to get from my mayor’s office, if he were mine (which would already suck prior to this sex-ed lesson from him). If I needed or wanted to hear this information, I would watch one of the endless question-and-answer sessions with doctors about COVID-19.
There are PLENTY of other things that de Blasio’s office could be focusing on during his free time, such as not continuing to send the City of New York straight to hell. Actually treating the city’s officers with respect, criminal justice reform, bail reform, giving illegal immigrants driver’s licenses…so much to change, so much time to do it now that everyone is stuck inside.
While you’re inside, you might want to know, says the Mayor’s memo:
“Take care during sex: Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.”
OMG I had a mouthful of ass while reading this NYC Health guide to Covid-safe Sex and of course, responsible New Yorker that I am, I IMMEDIATELY spat it out. Is there a five second rule? #oneonethousandtwoonethousand pic.twitter.com/QpDmt4hJU0
— BD WONG (@wongbd) March 23, 2020
So no one put your mouth on anyone’s butt hole, ok? Just for a little while and then you can go back to business as usual.
Although, if you just can’t help yourself, de Blasio has a solution for you:
“Condoms and dental dams can reduce contact with saliva or feces, especially during oral or anal sex.”
Perhaps because he was met with extreme scrutiny, or perhaps because he realized how incredibly stupid it is that he gave the OK for it to be posted, the Sex and COVID-19 Disease memo has been taken down from NYC’s Health Department website.
this is actually a great read and surprisingly detailed
— maggie penman (@maggiepenman) March 21, 2020
However, if you find yourself in desperate need of his advice, you can still find the full memo here.
In other news, the same idiotic mayor is planning the release of God knows how many jail inmates into the city because…the virus.
While it isn’t exactly surprising given the fact that many other big cities have made the same move, and de Blasio is about as smart as a toothpick, it is still disappointing.
Especially when New York Police already had their hands full with the rising major crime rate as well as “non-violent” offenders barely seeing the inside of the jail’s intake room before they’re being let back out on the streets.
23 inmates being released, another 200 being considered amid NYC COVID-19 outbreak, de Blasio sayshttps://t.co/6BvsvuVF0V
— PIX11 News (@PIX11News) March 23, 2020
De Blasio said that he would be taking a hard (no pun intended) look at the inmate population to determine who among them are “vulnerable” in terms of health risks.
Last week, the mayor said in a radio interview:
“In the next 48 hours, we will identify any inmates who need to be brought out because of either their own health conditions — if they have any pre-existing conditions, etc. — or because the charges were minor and we think it’s appropriate to bring them out in this context.”
For good measure, he added:
“That said, we still need our criminal justice system to function.”
It doesn’t exactly function well in normal times, so why would a pandemic be any different?
While normal residents of the city are following de Blasio’s “shelter in place” orders, criminals will, surely, be playing by the rules too, right? After all, that is just the nature of offenders, to do what’s best for the greater good.
— Eyewitness News (@ABC7NY) March 23, 2020
The second it was announced that one jailer and one inmate have tested positive for the China Virus in the City of New York. So, of course, we must shut down all jails and send droves of criminals to take over the streets. I just don’t understand the logic.
I feel like I’m playing my own broken record here because I keep saying this, but it’s just another example of how the Democrats are making sure they don’t let a crisis go to waste.
The mayor was already doing all he could to keep criminals on the streets, and now this is just a perfect excuse for him to speed up the process. Meanwhile, all of the normal, non-criminal type residents are going to have to worry even more about criminals surrounding them, aside from everything else there is to worry about right now.
Good luck law-abiding citizens, I guess.
This is not the only example of the left exploiting the pandemic to get what they want.
While America is waiting for President Trump’s emergency stimulus package to pass, Democrats are once again playing politics.
Over 200 House Democrats were on a phone call last week to discuss a list of “provisions” they wanted to be included in the trillion-dollar package.
On the call, Majority Whip James Clyburn told caucus members that the COVID-19 bill was “a tremendous opportunity to restructure things to fit our vision.”
Keep in mind this package is designed to help the American people who have been financially injured by the pandemic slowing our economy.
Leave it to them to exploit this crisis in order to attempt to get their way. Following Clyburn’s suggestion, Democrats blocked the passage of the stimulus.
In order to approve the package, Democrats have demanded things that have nothing to do with financial relief, including increased bargaining powers for unions, environmental regulations for airlines and more wind and solar tax credits.
This report is correct. Pelosi & Schumer are willing to risk your life, your job, your retirement savings for a radical, left-wing wish list that has nothing to do with this virus. Disgraceful. https://t.co/le9jlTB4KH
— Tom Cotton (@SenTomCotton) March 23, 2020
What those things have to do with bringing some much-needed relief to the American people, I don’t know.
According to The Hill, other items Democrats intend to push into the relief package include:
“[A] boost in infrastructure spending, an expansion of Social Security benefits and funding for states to set up an all-mail voting system in the event the pandemic extends into November’s elections.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell originally laid out the bill to include: Cash payments to individuals; low-cost loans for small businesses; new funding to boost the health care system; and a financial lifeline for the hardest hit industries, such as aviation and cruise lines.
Not so shockingly, Nancy Pelosi abandoned her hurting Californians to fly to Washington DC over the weekend and discuss the demands. By “discuss,” of course, I mean add to.
McConnell said the move was an “obstruction.” He also said:
“All of a sudden, the Democratic leader and the speaker of the House shows up and we’re back to square one.
We’re fiddling here, fiddling with the emotions of the American people, fiddling with the markets, fiddling with our health care. The American people expect us to act tomorrow.
And I want everybody to fully understand if we aren’t able to act, it’ll be because of our colleagues on the other side continuing to dicker when the country expects us to come together and address this problem.”
"Democrats won’t let us fund hospitals or save small businesses unless they get to dust off the green New Deal." pic.twitter.com/TGuhsjAmfc
— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) March 23, 2020
That’s exactly what the American people expect right now. Coming together regardless of what side of the aisle they sit on to make sure we don’t lose America as we know it.
This is not a free-for-all political game, where democrats can try to “restructure” America. This is about sustaining America.
McConnell said the proposal should be limited to addressing the most “immediate economic damage created by the pandemic.”
“Anything that doesn’t address that pandemic, it seems to me, should not be considered.”
That shouldn’t be debated at all, but of course, Democrats aren’t one to ever let a crisis go to waste.
Democrats claimed that they blocked the package because it “favored corporations over working Americans.”
“This is not a juicy political opportunity.”
“This is a national emergency!”
Nancy and Chuck need to put their completely disgusting raw partisan politics aside and HELP THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!
— Kayleigh McEnany (@kayleighmcenany) March 23, 2020
Democrats argue that the $75 billion allocated to bail out distressed companies, especially the travel and hospitality industries, doesn’t help working Americans.
Republicans, however, say that helping distressed companies is helping American workers, in that this will prevent more working Americans from losing their jobs.
McConnell was visibly frustrated on the Senate floor. He told his colleagues:
“The American people are watching this spectacle. I’m told the futures market is down 5%. I’m also told that’s when trading stops. So the notion that we have time to play games here with the American economy and the American people is utterly absurd.”
Monday morning, McConnell continued in his disapproval of the Democrats’ actions over the weekend.
Mitch McConnell on Senate Floor on Coronavirus bill negotiations:
– “Eleventh hour demands Democrats have decided are more important.”
– “They ought to be embarrassed…talking about this like some juicy political opportunity.”
— Jason Donner (@jason_donner) March 23, 2020
“They ought to be embarrassed. This is no time for this nonsense.”
Fox News reported that a senior republican aide said:
“As Leader Schumer continues to hold up the desperately-needed relief package, the last-minute list of demands from Pelosi’s and Schumer’s ideological wish list are coming into focus.”
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy appeared on Fox & Friends on Monday morning, speaking of Pelosi:
“She cannot craft another bill. Time is of the essence. People will lose their job today because of what Schumer and the others are portraying and doing.”
McCarthy said that the bill was progressing along just fine among both sides of the aisle until Pelosi and Schumer came to stop it:
“This is a different process. It was the leaders that came and stopped this process.”
These are your elected leaders, Democrats. You get what you vote for, I suppose. Too bad what you voted for is hurting everyone.
McConnell said Pelosi overstepped her authority in order to essentially screw over Americans:
“She’s the speaker of the House, not the speaker of the Senate.”
The emergency stimulus package required a vote of 60 senators to pass, but it failed at 47-47- along partisan lines.
While Republicans have the majority in the Senate by six, with five of them currently quarantined the lead drops to only one.
The next vote for this bill is expected to take place today at 1pm.
McCarthy told Fox & Friends:
“What the [Republican] Senators did last night, it wasn’t even voting on the bill. They had 30 more hours, they were simply moving the process forward to give this country hope, to show that they can work together. This is uncalled for.
— Kevin McCarthy (@GOPLeader) March 23, 2020
The country does not want us to be partisan, they want us to be productive. To me, this is the lowest level.”
Don’t worry, Senator McCarthy. It’s not just you.
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