New Year’s Resolutions for Dummies
Every year people make well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions. Typically, by February the resolutions require respiration to stay alive, but they remain on life support.
Nevertheless, here are a few we’d like to see the general public adopt for 2019. If these resolutions were embraced—even for a month—cops might have more time for “real police work.”
- Don’t stop in the road at a Y intersection to check Google Maps for directions. Pull over!
- Stop using the handicap placard that belongs to a relative.
- Merge to the right when you see an emergency vehicle rolling with lights and siren.
- Avoid driving like a turtle in the fast lane.
- Quit texting while sitting at a traffic signal and therefore, miss the light as it phases to green.
- Stop bothering police officers with silly questions while they are conducting a traffic stop or field investigation.
- Blame your own stupidity—not the lack of police presence—when your valuables are taken from your unlocked car with the windows down.
- Don’t hang up! Wait on the telephone line and apologize to the 911-dispatcher when you meant to dial 411.
- Peacefully exchange children with your ex, thus avoid calling the police to referee your immaturity. (There are exceptions for the ex who is a rampant maniac. In this case, please continue to allow us to assist.)
- If there is a “No Soliciting” sign on the front door to a home, don’t ring the doorbell hoping to sell something to the homeowner.
- Obey the cone and flare patterns at the scene of a major traffic collision.
- Stop asking why cops they are not doing “real police work.”
- If a police officer is seated to eat at a restaurant, please save your legal questions for another time.
- Keep the telephone numbers for utility providers nearby. The police department does not maintain your water, gas, electrical, sewage, cable TV, or trash service.
- Please reserve the 911 system for emergencies. Reporting neighborhood kids playing basketball in the street does not constitute an emergency.
Since police officers are citizens too, we thought we’d add a few more pet peeves that bother us off-duty. As a result, we think these would make fantastic New Year’s resolutions as well.
- Please stop blocking the aisles at Costco while waiting for a small sample of food.
- Discontinue talking loud while watching a movie at the theater.
- Keep your partisan political social media comments to yourself, especially when they have nothing to do with the original post.
Thank you for the consideration. Happy New Year!
– Jim McNeff, partner and managing editor, Law Enforcement Today