Man armed with hatchet robs doughnut shop, takes only doughnuts. Caught donut-handed.


PORTLAND, OR – According to Portland Police, a 40-year-old man allegedly robbed a doughnut shop in the early hours of March 7th, armed with a hatchet.

Apparently, this wasn’t a quick grab for cash- it’s reported that the suspect only made off with some doughnuts.

You may have heard of the city slogan “Keep Portland Weird,” but I’m not sure this is what they had in mind.

A Portland Police Bureau press release stated that Central Precinct officers responded to a call about a disturbance involving an axe at a doughnut shop in the 0 block of Southwest 3rd Avenue.

Reports later confirmed that the shop in question was Voodoo Doughnut.

[Editor’s note: If you’ve never heard of the establishment, they offer an array of funky flavored options. 

Tourists visiting the City of Portland can often be seen traveling back to their hometowns on airplanes with the telltale pink boxes of sugary goodness to bring home and share with their families. 

It’s a semi-famous establishment that people often make a point to visit when they’re in Portland.]

Man armed with hatchet robs doughnut shop, takes only doughnuts. Caught donut-handed.
Christopher James – Portland Police

Police spokesman Sgt. Kevin Allen stated that arriving officers were told by employees of the shop that the suspect, Christopher James, had jumped over the shop counter and began taking doughnuts.

All the while, allegedly armed with a hatchet, the suspect filled up a box of doughnuts and left on foot, according to employees.

Reports state that nothing else was taken nor was anyone injured during the robbery.

Police later found the suspect roughly a block away from the shop, holding a pink box while eating a doughnut.

When confronted by police, James reportedly began running, but police caught up and arrested him.

Man armed with hatchet robs doughnut shop, takes only doughnuts. Caught donut-handed.
Hatchet recovered at crime scene – Portland Police

Officers also stated that the hatchet allegedly used during the crime was left behind at the doughnut shop.

James is currently booked in at the Multnomah County Detention Center and is facing charges of first degree robbery.

[Editor’s note: Take heart, cops- no doughnuts were harmed during the commission of the crime.]

Portland has been playing host to some strange crimes lately. Last week we reported on the status of an alleged hate crime that took place outside of a bus stop in the city. 

A black woman is facing hate crime charges after allegedly assaulting a white woman outside of a bus in North Portland. Reports indicate that the suspect allegedly said “I hate white people” while engaging in the assault.

Read that again:

“I hate white people.”


Portland woman charged with hate crime. Where's the media on this one?
Nimo Jire Kalinle. (Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office)


Janae Jordan was allegedly pummeled right in front of her husband and child on January 19th by 42-year-old Nimo Jire Kalinle. The incident allegedly occurred right after Kalinle had stepped off of the bus stopped at North Fremont Street and Gantenbein Avenue.

During the unprovoked assault, the victim asked Kalinle why she was attacking her. According to a probable cause affidavit, Kalinle stated:

“It’s because you’re white and I hate white people.”

The husband of the victim intervened, and was able to restrain the suspect while waiting for police to arrive. Court documents showed that the suspect was apprehended and charged with fourth-degree felony assault, first-degree bias crime, second-degree bias crime, and two counts of interfering with public transportation.

Court documents further alleged that the victim had no previous interaction with Kalinle, citing the time of the assault as the first time ever seeing her. Kalinle went before a judge regarding the case on February 24th, where she pled not guilty to the charges levied. She’s scheduled for her next court appearance on March 6th.


That’s not all the crazy arrests that have been coming compliments of Portland either.

Last month on February 8th, Portland was graced once again with Antifa’s antics.

A “demonstration” in downtown Portland turned into what such events usually turn into…a riot, during which a war memorial was vandalized, according to police.

The Portland Police Bureau reported that the protesters had gathered to counter another demonstration outside the Multnomah County Courthouse that was abruptly canceled.

Law enforcement authorities in the city did not provide details about the other planned demonstration, however Oregon Live reported that it was rumored to be a KKK white supremacy rally at a downtown park. The counter-protesters, including members of Antifa showed up even though police said the original event was canceled.

Initially, the rally was peaceful, and Portland police officers stood down.

“While the rally was being held and was peaceful, Portland Police officers stayed away,” the bureau said. “However, some people in the group began acting in a violent, threatening manner against attendees who were legally capturing photos and videos.”

Some individuals wearing all black have been observed throwing projectiles and using pepper spray on others near Lownsdale Square. If you are a victim of a crime, call 9-1-1. PPB will arrest those identified as engaging in criminal acts.

Police said that some people had used metal-tipped umbrellas to “jab toward people and chase them down the street.” Others used object such as rocks, concrete, batons, cans and food were thrown at members of the public, as well as police officers.

Police also said that at least two incendiary devices, believed to be flares, were thrown into nearby traffic. The riot lasted nearly four hours and required a “large police response” that limited the department’s ability to respond to other calls in the city.

Three of the Antifa “heroes” were arrested. They are:

Willy Cannon, Heaven Davis, and Brandon Farley were arrested after the demonstration in Portland on Saturday, according to police.

Willy Cannon, 25                            Heaven Davis, 19                                     Brandon Farley, 31

Cannon was charged with criminal mischief and abuse of a memorial to the dead (the hero that tagged the war memorial); Davis was charged with criminal mischief; Brandon Farley was charged with criminal mischief. 

Messages that read “Punch Cops,” “Kill Cops,” and “All Cops are Bastards” could be seen painted on the memorials, in pictures released by the police.

We assume Cannon wouldn’t have the gonads to actually put on a uniform and go to war. It’s much easier to wear a mask, hide your face, and deface memorials to heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice. 

Portland police arrest Antifa "heroes" after violent attacks and "kill cops" written on war memorial


Portland Fire and Rescue personnel had to treat three people for exposure to pepper spray used by the rioters.

The police department was sure to make sure that people know that no use of force was used against the rioters during the event.

“Law enforcement officers did not use force against anyone during the event,” the police bureau said.

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Police also said that a pedestrian was struck by a vehicle and transported to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. The driver remained on scene and cooperated with police officers.

Portland Police Chief Jami Resch said that the actions of the rioters “negatively impacted public safety of the entire city because resources had to be diverted to this event.”

“I want to acknowledge the community members who came down to peacefully assemble and exercise their freedom of speech rights,” Resch said in a statement. “Unfortunately, a group of people chose to engage in dangerous, illegal behavior. I appreciate the thoughtful, measured response by our officers and law enforcement partners.”

The website “OregonLive” said:

“Most of the 200 or so mask-wearing people at downtown Portland’s Lownsdale Square late Saturday morning were there to tap their feet to the live band that was playing. And to eat pizza, boxes of which were delivered shortly after police made and arrest of someone ‘engaging in criminal activity.’”

Yes, because people who are going to “tap their feet to the live band that was playing” often show up with masks over their faces. Please.

Once the police dared to their jobs and make an arrest, the “heroes” in masks started to protest.

“Criminals!” screamed one brave soul, his face hidden by a bandana.

“Fascists!” yelled another.

A tweet by something called PopMob were having none of the police making arrests.

“Pointing weapons at a group of people on the sidewalk is NOT de-escalating the situation. The Portland Police are intentionally provoking a fight. It’s time to go home and declare today a win. There’s SO MUCH more work to be done together.”

The website said that Portland police had reported that some of the “partiers,” before they started “partying” used pepper spray at others at the park, and when police arrived, they were met by a hail of thrown objects.

“Some demonstrators possess weapons, including bats and pepper spray,” Portland police tweeted as the event got underway. “Criminal activity will not be tolerated.”

In case you are not familiar, these are some of the tactics that Antifa thugs use:

The fact that no use of force was used by Portland police is either a testament to the restraint of the officers, or an indictment of the use of force policies of the department. We have a feeling it is likely a combination of both.  

Last June, former Police Chief Danielle Outlaw was roundly criticized after a much-publicized assault of conservative journalist Andy Ngo being punched and kicked by multiple demonstrators went viral. The Ngo assault drew national attention and criticism from people such as Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Donald Trump Jr. 

Cruz criticized Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler and asked for a federal investigation into the allegation that Wheeler ordered Outlaw to have her officers stand down in any altercations with Antifa. 

Trump Jr. said, in an opinion piece for the Daily Caller that:

“No responsible journalist would support a domestic terrorist organization that assaults the members of the press, yet here we are again with another clear example of the liberal media’s complicity in Antifa violence.” 

Outlaw denied that Wheeler had told her to have her officers stand down. At the time she said, “The officers have been called ‘cowards’ or there’s a perception that they ‘ran away’ from confrontation, and that couldn’t be furthest from the truth,” she said.

Outlaw said that the “rules of engagement” said that any intervention should be done carefully, to protect the safety of demonstrators as well as the officers. She then called for more “resources,” including officers and support from partner law enforcement agencies. 

Outlaw has since left to become police commissioner in Philadelphia. 

Meanwhile, new police chief Jami Resch is left to pick up the pieces. 

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