There’s a movement to “DeFund the police”. Here’s what “private cops” would actually look like. (Op-ed)


ANYTOWN, USA- As the “inmates” continue to run “the asylum,” in many cases empowered by weak-kneed politicians, and in some cases weak-kneed police administrators, the latest hue and cry we hear across the fruited plain is a call to defund the police.

And right on cue, some of those gutless politicians are playing right into the narrative.

Enter, Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti.

That’s the same guy who threatened to have people arrested for being on the so-called “dry sand,” but said it was fine to be on the “wet sand” while implementing bizarre and in some cases draconian lockdown measures.

He said that an expected funding increase for the LAPD has been canceled, and he would be seeking an additional $150 million in cuts for “reinvesting in black communities and communities of color.”

So now, we have a movement primarily in the liberal community to defund the police nationally.

From Hollywood hypocrites to far-left America hating politicians such as Rashida Tlaib, the call is out to defund the police by government entities.

That is a somewhat interesting proposal because one of the main purposes of government is maintenance of the social order. How that would happen is anyone’s guess. We’ll get back to the Hollywood “elite” and the left-wingers like Tlaib in a moment.

So, they want to defund police. What would that look like?

Well, the only logical conclusion would be to move that over to the private sector.

Which is an interesting proposal because the lefties have whined about the private correctional companies that are out there, complaining that there isn’t any accountability. But if that’s what they want, let’s see what the implications would be.

As a private entity the business, let’s call it “Police, Inc.,” is obviously in business to earn revenue and make a profit.

As a profit-driven business, they would be looking to pay their “officers” as little as possible.

If we take private ambulances as an example, something in the vicinity of $15/hour would be a starting point for the private cops.

So, what would the incentive be to become a private cop? Well, not the money.

And probably not the benefits, because one would assume that as a private business, there would obviously be no pensions, and probably not a 401k.

The incentive would be for people who want to drive fast and carry guns. Do you think that would attract the “best of the best?”

The college educated? Well, who is going to go work for $30,000/year after investing a couple hundred grand into a college education?

Maybe a liberal who majored in German Polka History or Left-Handed Puppetry, but other than that, few, if any. What you’ll end up with is a bunch of “Paul Blart-Mall Cops.” 

Now, how to earn revenue? Well, the easiest way to earn revenue is through traffic tickets.

While people accuse police in municipalities of “having a quota,” what do you think the result would be if this now became a business decision? You could see it now…”We’ll give you $2 for every car you ticket. If you get 50, we’ll give you an extra $100 bonus.” And fines?

Well, as a private entity, the fines would be set by the company. Speed traps would be on every highway, every major thoroughfare in every town in the state.

How about other ways to raise revenue? How about a “patrol fee.” What would that look like? Well, if you want Police, Inc. to patrol your neighborhood that is going to be a $10/week fee.

Call the police for a call for service? Burglar alarm? $25.

Lock your keys in your car and need it opened up? That’ll be another $25.

Burglary call? $50 initial response fee, plus $25 an hour spent investigating your complaint.

Dust for fingerprints? That’ll be another $15, plus supplies.

Sexual assault? Well, we’ll have to have a specialist come in to investigate that.

The initial complaint is $100, plus $50 an hour for the special “Sex Assault Team.” Lab tests? That will be a $500 lab fee.

Police, Inc. also has a “bounty club.” They will pay you $25 for any tip that results in an arrest, with another $25 if the person is convicted.

The goal is to have an army of bounty hunters to turn people in. Think of it like a version of Bill de Blasio or Eric Garcetti’s “narc your neighbor” program to report felony social distancing violations. 

Police, Inc. patrols in armored vehicles because they want to make sure that their people are protected. They paint them black, because well, they like the look.

Their officers have state of the art weapons, and like the military look, so they basically black out and carry military grade M-16’s for “protection.”

Community outreach? Not needed because they do not require public support. They’re a private business and they can run their business any way they please.

Active shooter? Sorry we are unable to respond because our insurance doesn’t cover that.

You’re on your own, we’re not going in. Unless you pay for our advance protection plan, and show us proof of insurance, so that if things go bad, we reduce our liability. The advanced protection plan is only $2500 a year, or you can buy a five-year package for $10,000.

Police, Inc. maintains a database and if you haven’t paid, you don’t get a response.

Also, we have a neighborhood analysis database, and depending on what type of neighborhood, depending on ability to pay, crime rates, and the probability of our officers being injured, we will not respond to those neighborhoods. You will be on your own.

Police, Inc. does not invest in any type of technology that could compromise their business, such as in-car cameras, body cameras, or the like. But they do have armed drones that can be used in certain situations, such as civil unrest, or whatever else is determined by the board of directors as appropriate.

Police, Inc. has also procured military-style helicopters with advanced electronics that can be used to monitor communications, and if necessary are armed in the event they are needed to supplement their armed drone program.

You see where this can go? Policing (or security, whatever you call it) will be something that only the rich can afford.

Does anyone honestly think that given the liability concerns and other issues that anyone in their right mind would want to provide security in neighborhoods where they would have a bullseye on their backs? It would never happen.

Is this an absurd idea? Absolutely. But what better way to mock absurdity than employing that yourself. 

That brings us to the “beautiful people.” You know, the so-called “Hollywood elite” who know better than the rest of us peons.

While they have body guards, private security and live in gated mansions, they want to dictate to the rest of the country how we should secure ourselves.

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Murdered officer's grave desecrated before headstone even placed

Breitbart News is reporting that an open letter signed by a number of self-important “celebrities” is looking to defund police departments across the board throughout the United States. What could possibly go wrong?

The letter says that in 2017, $194 billion was spent on police services throughout the United States. They claim this was despite the fact that police have “continued profiling, harassment, terror and killing of black communities.”

The letter of course ignored the fact that the Washington Post database of police killings showed only nine unarmed blacks were killed by police in 2019. More black males were killed in Chicago LAST WEEKEND than were killed by police in all of 2019.

“Black communities are living in persistent fear of being killed by state authorities like police, immigration agents, or even white vigilantes who are emboldened by state actors.

According to the Urban Institute, in 1977, state and local governments spent $60 billion on police and corrections. In 2017, they spend $194 billion.

A 220 percent increase. Despite continued profiling, harassment, terror and killing of Black communities, local and federal decision makers continue to invest in the police, which leaves Black people vulnerable and our communities no safer.”

The letter was signed by some dude named Common, communist sympathizer “Hanoi Jane” Fonda, some chick named America Ferrera, an unknown named Brie Larson, p-whipped “singer” John Legend, Natalie Portman and of course, the director of the ACLU, Anthony Romero.

It goes on to say that money spent on police would be better spent on “building health communities,” or go “to the health of our elders and children, to neighborhood infrastructure, to education, to childcare, to support a vibrant Black future.”

So, by neighborhood infrastructure, does that mean the infrastructure that has been burned, vandalized and destroyed in the past week? That infrastructure?

Education spending? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the United States spent an average of $12,201 per student in 2017.

Despite all the money thrown into education, that isn’t translating into results. Students from other countries are far ahead of their American counterparts in subjects such as math and science.

There is nothing to indicate that this trend has changed in the past six years.

Of course, none of these Hollywood hypocrites offered up a solution to defunding the police. The only thing that would fill the void would be private security along the lines of a Blackwater, or maybe a Halliburton.

We have already heard liberals crying about private jails and prisons, can you imagine the wailing if we had private police too? But what do they care? They’re protected.

The movement to defund police started with Black Lives Matter co-founder Patrisse Cullors, along with a group called Movement 4 Black Lives.

Cullors said in an interview with Variety in speaking of the Blackout Tuesday event saying, “We’re looking at all the black musicians who are showing up and standing up—like Lizzo, who I just had a phone call with yesterday.”

“She’s excited about joining and [last week] was up in Minneapolis protesting outside the fourth [police] precinct,” she added.

“But we need every single musician—black, white, Asian, whoever—to show up right now. We’re not going to change what’s happening between law enforcement and black people until everybody shows up to change it.”

We understand Lizzo will also be providing diet tips for anyone interested.

Imagine if these people possessed the same sense of outrage over the 16 people who were killed in Chicago last weekend, not by police but largely by other blacks.

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