“I told you so.”

Those are usually words that come out of my wife’s mouth.  But for once, I get to say it.

Earlier this year, Gillette launched a campaign shaming men with facial hair.  As a long time undercover cop with a beard, I was one of countless men who was pretty pissed about it.

After all, they decided that it’s not enough to make a product that people want… you need to make them feel bad about themselves to get to buy it.

We were reminded that as men, we are toxic.  Our existence is a scourge on society.  And we’re to be blamed for all of the bad in the world.

Turns out those men have a lot of money… that they aren’t giving to Procter & Gamble, who owns Gillette.

P&G is now facing an $8 billion non-cash writedown after the launch of the ad campaign.

Of course Gillette blames competitors like Dollar Shave Club and Harry’s.

They fail to mention that the Dollar Shave club never tried to shame you for being a man, and Harry’s never attacked you for being “toxic”.

Gillette’s CEO and president, Gary Coombe, said it’s no big deal.

He argued that angering some consumers with its #metoo campaign was a “price worth paying” if it meant the brand could increase its relevance among younger consumers and turn around its falling market share.

He did, however, admit that they’re losing relevance among millennials.

He explained:

“The worst thing during through that period was, we also lost connection with the millennial generation. Gillette quickly became the brand of the millennial generation’s dads.”

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In April, Proctor & Gamble announced it would reduce the price of some of its shave products by up to 20%.  They’re citing “increasingly stiff competition”.

Other products’ by the company won’t have a price change.

The news came from P&G CFO Jon Moeller in a conference presentation to financial analysts.  He said there’s a gap in prices between P&G’s higher-end razors and lower-end razors that will be filled by this reduction in price.

Beard

 

“We’ll soon be making pricing interventions to better position our brands at all levels of the pricing ladder,” Moeller said. “We are making smart adjustments across the line-up to restore a historical model and proven strategy.”

In North America, Gillette once claimed a 71% market share… but it’s down to 59%, according to Fortune.   Startups like Harry’s and Dollar Shave Club are leapfrogging Gillette in the online razor market.

Shortly after Gillette’s ad launched that attacked unshaven men, a veteran-turned-cop sent us his thoughts on it.  It’s almost like he could see the future.  Here were his words:

Another day, another brand that just sold itself out to the pussification of America.

In case you missed it, it came after Gillette launched that digital ad campaign aimed at men letting us know that we are all doers of evil.

It’s called “We Believe” and it starts out with news about the current #MeToo movement, bullying and “toxic masculinity”.  From there, a narrator talks about the fact that “boys will be boys” and then asks: “Is this the best a man can get? Is it? We can’t hide from it. It has been going on far too long. We can’t laugh it off, making the same old excuses.”

Shocker.  A company that’s failing to sell enough razors is making a desperate move in hopes that women will start buying their brand for their men.

Well, Gillette, I’m here to tell you what a real man is.

I first grew my beard when I was in the Sandbox.  I can’t tell you who I was with over there, because technically the government still owns that part of my life.

I was the guy that assholes feared.  You know why they feared me?  Because I hunted down bad guys.  And I killed them.  My beard has been covered with the blood of terrorists more times than I can count.

My beard has also been covered with the blood of my brothers.  The day the IED when off and I was one of only a handful of guys that made it out with all of our limbs.

The day a sniper took out the man who stood next to me on the best day of my life, my wedding day… and then stood in front of me when he took a bullet so I could one day go back to my bride.

That beard was tugged on by the tiny hands of our babies.  The pain was real and it was a desperately needed moment to pull me out of the warzone back into the moments with my family.  I can still feel the tugs reminding me that I was alive and there was a reason for that.

I thought I’d have to shave my beard to go into law enforcement back home.  I didn’t.  Apparently my track record of destroying evil was enough, and apparently it made me fit right in with more evil.   That beard was what helped me to assimilate quickly deep undercover.  It kept me alive.  It helped really bad guys get not alive.  And that helped keep good people alive.

My beard has been filled with the tears of women weeping over dead husbands and dead children.  My beard has been played with when I filled in for Santa when he was busy at the North Pole.

You look at a beard as being a symbol of toxic masculinity like I look at callous-free hands on a man as being a symbol of weakness.

You view my beard as being something that demonstrates that men don’t respect women.  I adorn it as a sign that men are meant to protect, respect and provide for women.

You view the term “boys will be boys” as disgust as you encourage boys to be girls and girls to be boys.  I view the term “boys will be boys” as recognition that there’s a biological difference between men and women and boys are energetic little creatures that need an outlet for the testosterone that’s starting to grow in their body.

Remember, Gillette. Spartans had beards because they were fearless warriors.  They were protectors.  They were defenders.  They were filled with character and integrity and honor.  They owned their manliness and weren’t afraid of it.

Congratulations on your big PR move.  But remember, while you’re sitting around a white board trying to figure out how to sell more razors … these bearded bastards are doing bad things to bad people because SOMEONE has to hold the line between good and evil…. and it’ll never be you.

We’ve got your six, even though you don’t have ours.

#BeardUpAmerica #GunsOutBeardsOut

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