Did Chicago’s mayor just threaten to arrest people for exercising outdoors? Here’s the latest.

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Chicago- This is just flat out wrong.

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has warned that if you go outside to exercise during the current pandemic… you could end up being arrested.

“Stay at home. Only go out for essentials. You have to readjust your thinking. Be smart,” Lightfoot said.

“Not only will our police be deployed to shut them down if you are not abiding by these orders we will be forced to shut down the parks and lakefront. The situation is deadly serious and we need you take it deadly seriously.”

She pulled no punches.  

Lightfoot went on to say that spending long periods of time outdoors, anywhere, is not allowed under the new mandate.

You’re also not allowed to go to closed spaces like playgrounds.

“You cannot go on long bike rides. Playgrounds are shut down. You must abide by the order. Outside, is for a brief respite, not for 5Ks. I can’t emphasize enough that we abide the rules.”

Lightfoot seemingly didn’t differentiate between exercising alone and exercising with groups of friends.

Mike Kelly is the Chicago Park District CEO.

He told CBS Chicago that outside spaces are open… but be cautious.

“The parks and open space are here for your enjoyment. But keep your distance. If someone is passing by, step aside and let them through,” Kelly said.

The warning was backed by Interim Police Superintendent Charlie Beck.

“The public health order is not an advisory. It is a mandate. If you violate it, you are subject to a fine of $500. If you continue to violate it, you will be subject to arrest,” Beck said.

Lightfoot insists that ignoring the stay at home order will bring serious consequences.

“At worst, we will take you into custody.”

Now let’s look at New York’s priorities.

NEW YORK, NY– Everyone is talking about how unprecedented these times are. We haven’t lived through this type of a response to a pandemic, so really we aren’t sure what to expect.

I’ll tell you one thing that I damn sure would never expect though, and that’s for a politician to explain to me how I should or shouldn’t be having sex.

You really can’t make this stuff up, folks.  And I’m not!

New York’s disgrace of a mayor, Bill de Blasio, seriously issued a memo from his office to his residents on how to have sex during the stay-at-home orders being issued all around the country.

My favorite part:

“You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.”

Also, in case you’ve been wondering:

“COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid.”

So there’s that.

I mean, thanks, I guess?

This isn’t exactly the type of information I want to get from my mayor’s office, if he were mine (which would already suck prior to this sex-ed lesson from him). If I needed or wanted to hear this information, I would watch one of the endless question-and-answer sessions with doctors about COVID-19.

There are PLENTY of other things that de Blasio’s office could be focusing on during his free time, such as not continuing to send the City of New York straight to hell. Actually treating the city’s officers with respect, criminal justice reform, bail reform, giving illegal immigrants driver’s licenses…so much to change, so much time to do it now that everyone is stuck inside.

While you’re inside, you might want to know, says the Mayor’s memo:

“Take care during sex: Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.”

So no one put your mouth on anyone’s butt hole, ok?  Just for a little while and then you can go back to business as usual.

Although, if you just can’t help yourself, de Blasio has a solution for you:

“Condoms and dental dams can reduce contact with saliva or feces, especially during oral or anal sex.”

Perhaps because he was met with extreme scrutiny, or perhaps because he realized how incredibly stupid it is that he gave the OK for it to be posted, the Sex and COVID-19 Disease memo has been taken down from NYC’s Health Department website.

However, if you find yourself in desperate need of his advice, you can still find the full memo here.

In other news, the same idiotic mayor is planning the release of God knows how many jail inmates into the city because…the virus.

While it isn’t exactly surprising given the fact that many other big cities have made the same move, and de Blasio is about as smart as a toothpick, it is still disappointing.

Especially when New York Police already had their hands full with the rising major crime rate as well as “non-violent” offenders barely seeing the inside of the jail’s intake room before they’re being let back out on the streets.

De Blasio said that he would be taking a hard (no pun intended) look at the inmate population to determine who among them are “vulnerable” in terms of health risks.

Last week, the mayor said in a radio interview:

“In the next 48 hours, we will identify any inmates who need to be brought out because of either their own health conditions — if they have any pre-existing conditions, etc. — or because the charges were minor and we think it’s appropriate to bring them out in this context.”

For good measure, he added:

“That said, we still need our criminal justice system to function.”

It doesn’t exactly function well in normal times, so why would a pandemic be any different?

While normal residents of the city are following de Blasio’s “shelter in place” orders, criminals will, surely, be playing by the rules too, right? After all, that is just the nature of offenders, to do what’s best for the greater good.

The second it was announced that one jailer and one inmate have tested positive for the China Virus in the City of New York. So, of course, we must shut down all jails and send droves of criminals to take over the streets. I just don’t understand the logic.

I feel like I’m playing my own broken record here because I keep saying this, but it’s just another example of how the Democrats are making sure they don’t let a crisis go to waste.

The mayor was already doing all he could to keep criminals on the streets, and now this is just a perfect excuse for him to speed up the process. Meanwhile, all of the normal, non-criminal type residents are going to have to worry even more about criminals surrounding them, aside from everything else there is to worry about right now.

Good luck law-abiding citizens, I guess.

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