Author note before you start flipping out: There’s a heavy dose of sarcasm in this article.   If you can’t handle it, then your eggnog needs a little more bourbon.

All across America, you hear the media and protestors DEMANDING that lousy cops be called out. So on this Christmas, as the National Spokesman for Law Enforcement Today, I’m giving them a gift.

I’m calling out a police department for being absolutely atrocious.  For failing the residents.  For screwing up and not protecting a kid.  And for causing heartache in a neighborhood and for a family.

That family… is the McCallister family.  And in their time of need… when they accidentally left poor Kevin home alone… those who took an oath to serve and protect failed them.

It gives police everywhere a bad name.

Let’s break it down.

First, when the parents arrived in France… they called the cops.  They were bounced around between two different officers – one of whom was too busy eating donuts to truly CARE about the wellbeing of a child.

When an officer is finally dispatched to the house for a wellbeing check, he quickly gives up when the kid doesn’t answer the door.

W.T. F.

Now onto the distrust.

Obviously Kevin doesn’t trust the cops.  The kid is staring down burglars and is facing a nightmare…. yet he still won’t turn to the police.  He takes it on himself, saying, “This is my home. I have to defend it.”

This comes just hours after he accidentally steals a toothbrush and runs from the police.

That distrust is obviously pervasive.  The pizza guy thinks he’s being shot at and even HE doesn’t call the cops.  He’s probably also delivering weed for the holidays… but maybe if those damn cops didn’t spend so much time going after petty crimes, they could be doing their jobs, right?

Now onto Old Man Marley. All of the kids think he’s a killer, and then we’re led to believe he’s a good guy at the end because he saves Kevin.

But what does he do? Sends Kevin back to his house ALONE… and doesn’t even call the cops.  Perhaps that sweet old man with a bad reputation actually IS a serial killer after all.  Why ELSE would he avoid the police?

Well, there you have it. A Christmas gift for those protestors and media personalities who want to make sure the police are always called out.

These bad cops were just exposed for all of the world to see.

Then again, this WAS 25 years ago.  And let’s not forget… it WAS a movie made by Hollywood that does their best to paint police to be the bad guys.

Merry Christmas.  And to those cop-haters… I hope you enjoyed this.

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal(s).”