Barnes and Noble selling “If You Give A Pig The White House” in kids section


Editor note: The official statement by Barnes and Noble is that the book is an adult parody that’s to be displayed in the adult section of bookstores.  With that being said, at least one bookstore – the one this photo was taken from – is displaying it in the children section.

While this might be the decision of the individual employees and not the corporate philosophy, it sure does say something about where we are in society.  The officer who submitted this article has requested anonymity because of fears of backlash, and so we have published his experience and thoughts under “Sgt. A. Merica”.

There is a popular series of children’s books called “If You Give A….”

The back half of the title of the series changes. The three books are “…Give a Pig a Pancake”, “…Give a Mouse a Cookie”, and “…Give a Moose a Muffin.”

The books chronicle what happens if you do the titular activity. If you give a moose a muffin, he is going to want a glass of milk to go with it. Each step escalates through the “cause and effect” scenarios.

The books are entertaining for early grade school readers…but they do not offer much for adult readers.

But Faye Kanouse took it upon herself to fix that.

She has released If You Give A Pig the Whitehouse.    

And yes, it is exactly what you think it is.

From the MacMillan Publishing website:

A coiffed and blustery pig has shoved his way into the White House! A cleverly worded and illustrated picture book, this is the adult parody of the beloved children’s cautionary tale, If You Give a Pig a Pancake.

Watch in dismay as the presidential pig gets into trouble, binges on too much Fox News and fast food, and cavalierly threatens national security. If You Give a Pig the White House both lovingly caricatures the original children’s book and shows just what can happen when a greedy anti-hero tracks his hooves all over America.

Here are just a few of the 18 pages of the book that is being prominently displayed on tables and endcaps at numerous Barnes & Noble stores.  End caps, mind you, in the childrens’ section.

“When he speaks to the public, he’ll probably stumble over big words, get mad and lash out.”

The illustrations words bubbles say:

“They’re rapists and murders!!”, “She’s a DOG!”, and “Fake news! I’m winning all the polls!”

The following page continues:

“So you’ll tell him to apologize. He won’t like you telling him what to do, so he’ll ramp up the insults and ad in some lies. “

In word bubbles:

“Sh*t-hole countries!”, “Mexico WILL pay!!” and “We’ve got the CLEANEST AIR.”

Can I take a second to point out the irony behind feigning outrage about someone being characterized as an animal by characterizing someone as an animal?

Ok…moving on.

Another page highlights the ongoing battle between Jim Acosta, the smug hack from CNN, and the President. It shows the pig pushing a well-dressed reporter sporting a CNN nametag, out of the White House Press Room. 

Not being content with attacking the President, they also illustrate an unflattering, angry Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

The text reads:

“When journalists ask about his lies, the pig will want to silence them by trampling on the First Amendment.”

Other topics that the book attacks POTUS on are global warming, the Paris Accord, the Supreme Court and Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

The author, known by only the pseudonym Faye Kanouse wrote this parody. The book is a repulsive attempt to shame and embarrass President Trump while using a popular children’s book as its inspiration.

Equally disturbing is the fact that the authors pen name sounds like the phrase “fake a noose” when said out loud. On the back of the book, more parodical information about the author says:  Kanouse writes cautionary tales that the whole family can read together, including If You Put a Snake on the Supreme Court, Ivanka and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad President, and Oh, The Prisons You’ll Go To! She’s also the author of the best selling young-adult novel, Are You There Vladamir? It’s Me, Donald.

So, two things I would like to point out.

One, there are no positive connotations that are associated with pigs.

As cops, we hear it every day. At least I do.

“I smell bacon!”

The first thing I think: Where? Where is the smell of bacon coming from? I would like some. I mean, who doesn’t like bacon?

Also, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase, I could buy a lot of…well, bacon.

But you don’t have to turn much further than Colin Kaepernick and his ‘cops are pigs’ socks to understand what type of vile and depraved human it takes to make the leap from cop to pig and equating them as the same.

Pig is meant to be an insult. Period.

Which leads me to point number 2.

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Barnes and Noble selling "If You Give A Pig The White House" in kids section


What if someone had selected an equally repugnant animal and wrote a parody centered around the Obama presidency?

They couldn’t select an animal that resides in the country of Kenya, because…well, racism.

In fact, regardless of the animal, somehow, the left would make the leap to how using an animal to illustrate the President of the United States was racially motivated, narrow-minded and intolerant.

But alas, the rules do not apply to them.  

Now, back to the book. Here are just a few of the reviews of the book.

I think your “book”, and I use that term loosely, is disgusting and pathetic!!!! You should be ashamed of yourself for writing such trash and the worst part is that you have aimed it at children.

You certainly have a right to your opinion but writing a “children’s” book displaying such disrespect for the highest office in our country is pathetic and it tells me a lot about who you are!!!!

I didn’t like Obama, but I put up with him for 8 years and never disrespected the office. – Laura Bradshaw


A children’s book designed as a parody on the President of the United States. Truly, Leftist have gone to a level of diseased and ineptitude that now uses a child’s book to defame a President over whom they have so much disdain.

Apparently, News Media and constant bias aren’t enough, so they must now work at toddlers and children to disparage the Presidency they didn’t get. Barnes and Noble, Macmillan Publishing, Target have now joined in the myriad of tabloid magazines to lower themselves into the feces of published Leftist politic. Congratulations, you’ve become the garbage. – John Terry

The constant attack on this President and the office of President itself must stop.

You don’t have to like the individual sitting in the Oval office, but you must respect the office itself.

The fact that there is a guy in there doing a hell of a job for our country and fighting for her to be great should make that respect that much easier. 

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