With the Green New Deal being embraced and promoted by nearly all of the Democratic hopefuls in the Presidential race for 2020, there are some creative expenditures that could be adopted in the near future if America embraces socialism.

We could potentially see all new regulations and regulatory positions, as Alexandria Ocasio Cortez single handedly defeats cow farts.

Let me introduce to you the Cow Fart Backpack!


Scientists have developed ‘fartpacks’ that extract up to 300 liters of methane gas. A tube from the pack is inserted into the cow’s digestive tract to collect the gas. Methane is 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere and can be found in animal waste, landfills, coalmines and leaking natural gas pipes.

“But we have to take a look at everything,” Ocasio-Cortez said, “and what we need to realize about climate change is about every choice that we make in our lives, you know?  In the deal, what we talk about — and it’s true — is that we need to take a look at factory farming, you know? Period. It’s wild,” Ocasio-Cortez said. “And so it’s not to say you get rid of agriculture. It’s not to say we’re gonna force everybody to go vegan or anything crazy like that. But it’s to say, ‘Listen, we gotta address factory farming. Maybe we shouldn’t be eating a hamburger for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Like, let’s keep it real.”

To all you wild factory farmers and people consuming hamburgers… you are killing our Earth. (Please enjoy the sarcasm) We all need to stop sensibly pointing fingers at foreign countries like China who pollute the air, land, and sea at uncontrolled rates. Nope, it is the meat industry and the meat eaters. Don’t worry, everyone, California has got this. Leading the way in socialism for our union, they have already passed legislation attacking farmers, oops, I mean cow farts. These changes could result in price increases on milk and other dairy products for consumers all over the country. California dairy farmers say they’re already struggling with high labor costs, a drought, and more.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

(Screenshot from YouTube)


The new regulations, combined with the mandatory increased overtime pay that was enacted by the California legislature this year, could force many dairy farmers out of business. 

But to all of you farmers… don’t worry about it. It’s worth it to battle the evil cow farts, and AOC has got it covered.

In the Green New Deal, AOC called for completely ditching fossil fuels, upgrading or replacing “every building” in the country and “totally overhaul transportation” to the point where “air travel stops becoming necessary.”

They also aimed to have the U.S. creating “net-zero” greenhouse gases in 10 years.


AOC, the Green New Deal and cow fart backpacks


According to an initial outline of the measure, the freshman Democrat and Sen. Edward Markey (D-Mass.) said the Green New Deal  “set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast.”

Getting rid of cow farts and airplanes is quite the task. 

With these being the statements made when they introduced the Green New Deal and the majority of Democratic Presidential hopefuls supporting the deal, many questions should be asked.

How many new taxes and regulatory agencies would be involved in regulating cow farts alone?

Which government agency regulates this fart containment device and the release of the farts? Where are the farts released? Surely, this would have to involve not only the Environmental Protection Agency, but also Consumer Product Safety Commission, Employment and Training Administration, Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, Farm Credit Administration, Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, Federal Trade Commission, Food and Drug Administration and the Office of Energy and Renewable Energy, just to name a few.

Also, since farts are combustible, if there were a spark, would this cause the cow to explode? With the explosive risks, would the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms have to be involved?

Could this lead to cows being put on the endangered species list? Will PETA come to their rescue? The US Fish and Wildlife Service will have to keep a close eye.

Attacking the threat of cow farts will require massive spending and resources to tackle this most worthy rescue mission of our dear planet!

Will there be new certifications and degrees that will create experts in the field of cow methane control? Will there be special scholarships for students to enter this field? Once the students achieve graduation and pass their special Earth Rescue Fart Control specialty designation test, which government agency do they work for? How much will their salaries be? Will AOC be the designated lead for the regulatory committee?

What happens when the device fails? Does it send all the farts back inside the cow?

AOC, the Green New Deal and cow fart backpacks



Will the Chick-Fil-A mascot cow be forced to wear a fart backpack as well in support of the Green New Deal?

Can cows identify as chickens to escape the painful fart backpack in order to just be who they are? 

These are all questions that should be asked and surely the US taxpayers should fund studies and committees to answer these questions.

Never fear! Democratic Socialists are way ahead on this line of thinking!


Ocasio Cortez defended her call for a 70 percent marginal tax rate on incomes over $10 million in the Green New Deal.

“It really comes down to the question of, ‘Isn’t $10 million enough?’ Like, when does it stop?” 

Certainly $10 million is enough right?  I mean who wants to make more money than that? Social Justice Warriors should identify every horrible selfish person in America who has made more than $10 million dollars and force them to apologize for their success, and pay out immediately.


AOC, the Green New Deal and cow fart backpacks

Professional sports athletes, Hollywood celebrities, music and entertainment stars, successful business owners, financial strategists and even the most thrifty American can be found guilty of making more than $10 million dollars. Oh and wait, we must not forget those career politicians! They are among the most successful people in America, turning $179,000 per year into mega millions! The question we all should be asking is how do these politicians who seem to stay for decades in Congress, turn into millionaires, yet somehow overspend our tax dollars every year so atrociously that we are now in $22 trillion in debt? I digress…

Shouldn’t the real question be:

Why, for the love of God, is any freedom-loving American considering voting for any candidate that promotes socialism?

Oh wait, freedom-loving Americans aren’t considering voting for them.


AOC, the Green New Deal and cow fart backpacks